Sunday, May 23, 2004
ANDY AND C. VANVEER review:
(by Andy Milonakis, available on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf).
Quotes:
"I like girls with sparkly vaginas, and I like little berries. I like boats, I like the sidewalk and I like the ocean."
"Slinkies are my favorite toy, they bring me lots of joy, they fuckin' do."
One time, I had a bookshelf that got infested with termites. At first, there was only a few termites, and I'd just throw them outside when I saw one. Then, one day, there was a ton of termites. I just gave up on throwing them out. I was like: "Alright termites, you tricky bastards, you win."
Termites are a lot like Christians. They multiply quickly, and sometimes, there's just no stopping them. In high school, I met this nice girl. I wasn't at school very often , so I really didn't know very many people, so I was pretty excited that this girl wanted to be my friend. She let me sit at her table at lunch, and asked me if I wanted to join a club. I went along after school, and sat in this circle with a bunch of harmless-looking kids. All of a sudden, this mousy girl was all like "I heard some girl had 'relations' out of wedlock, so I confronted her in the middle of gym class, and now everyone knows." The rest of the group agreed that this was the best thing to do.
It was at this time that I noticed the jesus-fish on the wall. Crap...Christians.
I was raised by severe athiests, so the idea of Christianity has always seemed pretty cracked-out to me. I decided to stick it out for a few more minutes.
They began discussing the teaching of evolution in science class. They were pissed, as evolution DIDN'T HAPPEN. It was at this point that I decided to speak up. The conversation went as so:
"Umm, Christians? What about all of the scientific evidence of evolution?"
"Well, science lies to you...There is only one true creator."
"What about prehistoric life?"
"Maybe you should read the bible. Humans were the first creatures on earth."
"So how do you explain all of the dinosaur remains that have been found?"
"Ummm..."
"Seriously, how do you explain all of the skeletons in the museums...Did they just put a bunch of dog skeletons together wrong?"
*Ba-Zing*
Sarah 1- Christians-0
It was at this time that they kind of chased me out. Christians can be surprisingly violent at times.
Andy should keep making these 'inspirational' videos, there's nothing that motivates me more than sparkly vaginas.
DISCUSS THIS ARTICLE HERE.
CHECK OUT ANDY PICTURES HERE.
E-MIAIL ME - SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
(by Andy Milonakis, available on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf).
Quotes:
"I like girls with sparkly vaginas, and I like little berries. I like boats, I like the sidewalk and I like the ocean."
"Slinkies are my favorite toy, they bring me lots of joy, they fuckin' do."
One time, I had a bookshelf that got infested with termites. At first, there was only a few termites, and I'd just throw them outside when I saw one. Then, one day, there was a ton of termites. I just gave up on throwing them out. I was like: "Alright termites, you tricky bastards, you win."
Termites are a lot like Christians. They multiply quickly, and sometimes, there's just no stopping them. In high school, I met this nice girl. I wasn't at school very often , so I really didn't know very many people, so I was pretty excited that this girl wanted to be my friend. She let me sit at her table at lunch, and asked me if I wanted to join a club. I went along after school, and sat in this circle with a bunch of harmless-looking kids. All of a sudden, this mousy girl was all like "I heard some girl had 'relations' out of wedlock, so I confronted her in the middle of gym class, and now everyone knows." The rest of the group agreed that this was the best thing to do.
It was at this time that I noticed the jesus-fish on the wall. Crap...Christians.
I was raised by severe athiests, so the idea of Christianity has always seemed pretty cracked-out to me. I decided to stick it out for a few more minutes.
They began discussing the teaching of evolution in science class. They were pissed, as evolution DIDN'T HAPPEN. It was at this point that I decided to speak up. The conversation went as so:
"Umm, Christians? What about all of the scientific evidence of evolution?"
"Well, science lies to you...There is only one true creator."
"What about prehistoric life?"
"Maybe you should read the bible. Humans were the first creatures on earth."
"So how do you explain all of the dinosaur remains that have been found?"
"Ummm..."
"Seriously, how do you explain all of the skeletons in the museums...Did they just put a bunch of dog skeletons together wrong?"
*Ba-Zing*
Sarah 1- Christians-0
It was at this time that they kind of chased me out. Christians can be surprisingly violent at times.
Andy should keep making these 'inspirational' videos, there's nothing that motivates me more than sparkly vaginas.
DISCUSS THIS ARTICLE HERE.
CHECK OUT ANDY PICTURES HERE.
E-MIAIL ME - SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
