Saturday, February 21, 2004
PROFESSOR WEIRDENHEIMER #1 review:
(by Andy Milonakis, available on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf).
Quotes:
"I'm gonna place a hole in the weird cheese, and put it through me spike in me head."
"It broke, and that's the end of the weird cheese spike-thrust."
"That's weird...Who does that? Me, cause I'm Dr. Weirdling."
"Weirdlings, weirdlings, weirdlings, these are my earrings."
American kids were lucky, they got all types of awesome science shows. What did we get in Canada? The Edison Twins. It was a show about a pale red-headed chick and her twin brother, who kinda looked like a gay brillo pad. There was also this fat kid that hung around a lot. They would solve science-based mysteries, and the police would usually give them a prize. However, this happened every week. Eventually, you'd think the police would just be like "okay, just quit school and join the fucking police force, you bastards. We're running out of prizes."
We also had a show called "Body Works", which was on in the morning, when normal children should be watching Sesame Street. The show was a provocative look inside of a human body, and I'm pretty sure all Canadian kids in the 80's watched when they followed a piece of food from a mouth out to the toilet....It was one of my defining childhood moments.
I wish I had grown up with Professor Weirdenheimer, I think I would've grown up with a healthier attitude about television scientists.
DISCUSS THIS POST HERE.
CHECK OUT ANDY PICS HERE (2 PAGES!).
E-MAIL ME------SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE ARCHIVES ON THE RIGHT...THERE'S SOME GOOOOOD STUFF!
(by Andy Milonakis, available on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf).
Quotes:
"I'm gonna place a hole in the weird cheese, and put it through me spike in me head."
"It broke, and that's the end of the weird cheese spike-thrust."
"That's weird...Who does that? Me, cause I'm Dr. Weirdling."
"Weirdlings, weirdlings, weirdlings, these are my earrings."
American kids were lucky, they got all types of awesome science shows. What did we get in Canada? The Edison Twins. It was a show about a pale red-headed chick and her twin brother, who kinda looked like a gay brillo pad. There was also this fat kid that hung around a lot. They would solve science-based mysteries, and the police would usually give them a prize. However, this happened every week. Eventually, you'd think the police would just be like "okay, just quit school and join the fucking police force, you bastards. We're running out of prizes."
We also had a show called "Body Works", which was on in the morning, when normal children should be watching Sesame Street. The show was a provocative look inside of a human body, and I'm pretty sure all Canadian kids in the 80's watched when they followed a piece of food from a mouth out to the toilet....It was one of my defining childhood moments.
I wish I had grown up with Professor Weirdenheimer, I think I would've grown up with a healthier attitude about television scientists.
DISCUSS THIS POST HERE.
CHECK OUT ANDY PICS HERE (2 PAGES!).
E-MAIL ME------SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
MAKE SURE TO CHECK OUT THE ARCHIVES ON THE RIGHT...THERE'S SOME GOOOOOD STUFF!
Friday, February 20, 2004
FAKE MEAT SNACKS review:
(by Andy Milonakis, avalable on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf).
Quotes:
"I don't mean to seem needy, but yo I need a meat snack, I need a meat snack right now, I don't need no crack, I'm addicted to meat snacks."
"I said bologna? Bologna, baloney. I said it's a silent 'g', just give me that fuckin' meat snack right now for two dollars."
"I bit that shit and I started to spit. I said 'yo, I can't take it, I can't take it, I can't take it cause the nigga is fakin. This shit ain't really real bologna, it's kinda made out of playdoh mixed with silly putty, silly putty, but it's kinda the same color as bologna. It's salty like bologna, but it's phony'. It didn't make me hungry, it made me sick. Yo, Billy is a dick."
The first time someone I knew got arrested was in 8th grade. This kid Andrew got caught stealing a huge box of Slim-Jims from the 7-11 down the street. Really, if you're going to get caught stealing something, it better be something worthwhile. Seriously. Nobody can eat 200 Slim-Jims. Not even that petite asian lady that always wins the competitive eating competitions (a side note: competitive eating is so awesome, I can barely handle it). Slim-Jims are made out of sawdust, chicken beaks, and paprika. After you eat about 3, your brain begins to turn into a Slim-Jim. It's true, I saw it on 20/20.
Good story, Andy.
Some of you may not know this, but Andy is in a music video. The song is called "Leaving", and it's by a group called "The Starting Line". Check it out here.
DISCUSS THIS POST HERE.
PICS? OH, YEAH, I'VE GOT TWO PAGES OF PICS HERE. BEAT THAT, ANSEL ADAMS.
E-MAIL ME ---SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
(by Andy Milonakis, avalable on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf).
Quotes:
"I don't mean to seem needy, but yo I need a meat snack, I need a meat snack right now, I don't need no crack, I'm addicted to meat snacks."
"I said bologna? Bologna, baloney. I said it's a silent 'g', just give me that fuckin' meat snack right now for two dollars."
"I bit that shit and I started to spit. I said 'yo, I can't take it, I can't take it, I can't take it cause the nigga is fakin. This shit ain't really real bologna, it's kinda made out of playdoh mixed with silly putty, silly putty, but it's kinda the same color as bologna. It's salty like bologna, but it's phony'. It didn't make me hungry, it made me sick. Yo, Billy is a dick."
The first time someone I knew got arrested was in 8th grade. This kid Andrew got caught stealing a huge box of Slim-Jims from the 7-11 down the street. Really, if you're going to get caught stealing something, it better be something worthwhile. Seriously. Nobody can eat 200 Slim-Jims. Not even that petite asian lady that always wins the competitive eating competitions (a side note: competitive eating is so awesome, I can barely handle it). Slim-Jims are made out of sawdust, chicken beaks, and paprika. After you eat about 3, your brain begins to turn into a Slim-Jim. It's true, I saw it on 20/20.
Good story, Andy.
Some of you may not know this, but Andy is in a music video. The song is called "Leaving", and it's by a group called "The Starting Line". Check it out here.
DISCUSS THIS POST HERE.
PICS? OH, YEAH, I'VE GOT TWO PAGES OF PICS HERE. BEAT THAT, ANSEL ADAMS.
E-MAIL ME ---SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
WILD UP INDIAN PUNANNY review:
(by Andy Milonakis, available on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf)
I'm going to tell you something that you probably already know....Indian music is crazy fun! I used to have this friend, Shafina, and her family was east indian. She would always steal her dad's indian cds, and we would play them really loud at my house until the neighbours complained. The best type of indian music is Bhangra. It's where they take awesome songs, like Gin and Juice and Bust a Move, and put indian lyrics and sitars into the track. The community I grew up in had quite a few east indian people, so at school dances, they would always play lots of bhangra. Bhangra dancing is awesome, too. You can pretty much dance however you like, but it must involve lots of kicking, spinning around on one foot, and making "talk to the hand" gestures. Andy just prefers to draw to the music, which is a breathtakingly magnificent thing to do while listening to some indian music. That's the thing with bhangra, you can do whatever you want when listening to it but it better be something awesome, 'cause otherwise you'll just look like a poser.
DISCUSS THIS POST HERE.
CHECK OUT PICS OF ANDY HERE. (AND 2 NEW PHOTOS OF ME WITH MY HOMIES--THANKS KB!)
E-MAIL ME-------SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
(by Andy Milonakis, available on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf)
I'm going to tell you something that you probably already know....Indian music is crazy fun! I used to have this friend, Shafina, and her family was east indian. She would always steal her dad's indian cds, and we would play them really loud at my house until the neighbours complained. The best type of indian music is Bhangra. It's where they take awesome songs, like Gin and Juice and Bust a Move, and put indian lyrics and sitars into the track. The community I grew up in had quite a few east indian people, so at school dances, they would always play lots of bhangra. Bhangra dancing is awesome, too. You can pretty much dance however you like, but it must involve lots of kicking, spinning around on one foot, and making "talk to the hand" gestures. Andy just prefers to draw to the music, which is a breathtakingly magnificent thing to do while listening to some indian music. That's the thing with bhangra, you can do whatever you want when listening to it but it better be something awesome, 'cause otherwise you'll just look like a poser.
DISCUSS THIS POST HERE.
CHECK OUT PICS OF ANDY HERE. (AND 2 NEW PHOTOS OF ME WITH MY HOMIES--THANKS KB!)
E-MAIL ME-------SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
Wednesday, February 18, 2004
A BEAUTIFUL STORY review:
(by Andy Milonakis, available at angrynakedpat.com/network/icf)
Yeeeeah boyeeeee!!! More puppets!
This video starts with some girls chatting in a parkade. They are speaking english, but a lot of it is very hard to understand 'cause they speak so gosh-darned fast and use a lot of slang(the group seems to understand each other, so I guess it's kinda a secret language). A lot of people would find this quite frustrating. Not me, though. Sometimes, I like to make friends with someone that is harder to understand, 'cause it's top quality entertainment. Here is an example of me interacting with one of my gibberish buddies:
Them: So, ghgkhh, trash? Tkpknhggf, yeah.
Me: Sorry, what was that?
Them: Bathtub gggoihgf. Heat, hbaidg.
Me: Sorry, I didn't hear you again.
Them (slowly): Hm, guigqiudhoi. Popilnasoufh.
Me (giving up, and just pretending to have heard them): Yeah, you can borrow it.
Them (clearly this time): I asked if you knew anything about herpes.
These friends don't last very long, as I eventually end up insulting them by accidentally responding really inapropriately to their questions that I didn't hear. In the end, though, it was totally worth it.
This truly was a beautiful story.
My favorite gibberish-talker of all time? Vanilla Ice in "tough mode".
DISCUSS THIS POST HERE.
CHECK OUT PICTURES OF ANDY HERE.
E-MAIL ME----SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
(by Andy Milonakis, available at angrynakedpat.com/network/icf)
Yeeeeah boyeeeee!!! More puppets!
This video starts with some girls chatting in a parkade. They are speaking english, but a lot of it is very hard to understand 'cause they speak so gosh-darned fast and use a lot of slang(the group seems to understand each other, so I guess it's kinda a secret language). A lot of people would find this quite frustrating. Not me, though. Sometimes, I like to make friends with someone that is harder to understand, 'cause it's top quality entertainment. Here is an example of me interacting with one of my gibberish buddies:
Them: So, ghgkhh, trash? Tkpknhggf, yeah.
Me: Sorry, what was that?
Them: Bathtub gggoihgf. Heat, hbaidg.
Me: Sorry, I didn't hear you again.
Them (slowly): Hm, guigqiudhoi. Popilnasoufh.
Me (giving up, and just pretending to have heard them): Yeah, you can borrow it.
Them (clearly this time): I asked if you knew anything about herpes.
These friends don't last very long, as I eventually end up insulting them by accidentally responding really inapropriately to their questions that I didn't hear. In the end, though, it was totally worth it.
This truly was a beautiful story.
My favorite gibberish-talker of all time? Vanilla Ice in "tough mode".
DISCUSS THIS POST HERE.
CHECK OUT PICTURES OF ANDY HERE.
E-MAIL ME----SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
Monday, February 16, 2004
PUPPETS review:
(by Andy Milonakis, featuring Enzo Salierno available on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf).
Quotes:
Andy- "I like to say a lot of curses, 'cause it makes me feel big, like a big real boy".
Andy-" I got a big puppety dick, you wanna see it? I rock to the beat, whoop whoop whoop, I got mad hoes, they're in my book. I got mad hoes, I got the look. Cause I look like Andy in puppet form, nigga gets more bitches than colorforms. That don't make no sense, does it? It don't really matter, it gon' pay the budget."
Enzo-"I got luscious lips, I like to kiss all the kids in the class. I go around one, pump 'em on the head, I go around two, and then I jump into bed. I got luscious lips."
So, when I was growing up, my parents were very open about sex. My sister and I had all sorts of crazy books, like the classic "Where Did I come From", and "What's Happening to Me?" books.
Most kids had some books like these lying around their house, but there was one thing that we had that other kids didn't: anatomically correct puppets. These puppets made my sister and I really, really popular with kids, but very, very unpopular with parents. Every time a new kid would come to our school, we'd bust out the puppets, and they'd instantly be our new friend. By the time I got to high school, the puppets no longer made me popular, just kinda creepy. However, in their glory days, the anatomically correct puppets were the height of hilarity...Puppets are awesome.
When I first saw Meet The Feebles, I was 10 and at a sleepover....It made me feel kinda weird, like when you're at a family reunion, and you see this guy, and you think he's kinda hot, but then you realize it's your second cousin.... Weird and uncomfortable.
"Puppets" didn't give me that sensation, it was just good times.
DISCUSS THIS POST HERE.
CHECK OUT ANDY PICTURES HERE (SORRY, NO PUPPETS....YET).
E-MAIL ME -----SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
(by Andy Milonakis, featuring Enzo Salierno available on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf).
Quotes:
Andy- "I like to say a lot of curses, 'cause it makes me feel big, like a big real boy".
Andy-" I got a big puppety dick, you wanna see it? I rock to the beat, whoop whoop whoop, I got mad hoes, they're in my book. I got mad hoes, I got the look. Cause I look like Andy in puppet form, nigga gets more bitches than colorforms. That don't make no sense, does it? It don't really matter, it gon' pay the budget."
Enzo-"I got luscious lips, I like to kiss all the kids in the class. I go around one, pump 'em on the head, I go around two, and then I jump into bed. I got luscious lips."
So, when I was growing up, my parents were very open about sex. My sister and I had all sorts of crazy books, like the classic "Where Did I come From", and "What's Happening to Me?" books.
Most kids had some books like these lying around their house, but there was one thing that we had that other kids didn't: anatomically correct puppets. These puppets made my sister and I really, really popular with kids, but very, very unpopular with parents. Every time a new kid would come to our school, we'd bust out the puppets, and they'd instantly be our new friend. By the time I got to high school, the puppets no longer made me popular, just kinda creepy. However, in their glory days, the anatomically correct puppets were the height of hilarity...Puppets are awesome.
When I first saw Meet The Feebles, I was 10 and at a sleepover....It made me feel kinda weird, like when you're at a family reunion, and you see this guy, and you think he's kinda hot, but then you realize it's your second cousin.... Weird and uncomfortable.
"Puppets" didn't give me that sensation, it was just good times.
DISCUSS THIS POST HERE.
CHECK OUT ANDY PICTURES HERE (SORRY, NO PUPPETS....YET).
E-MAIL ME -----SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
Sunday, February 15, 2004
ARE YOU STORMIN' NORMAN? review:
(by Andy Milonakis, available on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf).
Quotes:
" I gotta do a Stormin' Norman show, because I feel like I'm him and people ask me if I'm him, and I am him."
" If you wear a eye-patch, instead of seeing double, you say 'Mmm'. With out the eye-patch...Look, look, look... 'Oh, my god, that girl is soooo pretty. She's such a pretty hitty hitty city, I wants to get with her. She's so pretty. Let me make sure by putting on my double sight eye patch. Whoops, I only see one of her now, she's the ugliest person I ever seen in my life. Good thing I spent $6.99, cause I can't stands the ugly girls. Oh my god, but what if there was two of her, and they were twins, but they were really hot....Aw, never mind, this thing works.' That was fun, right guys?"
"Now I'm starting to get my hopes up, I'm praying for a better tomorrow".
"It was mean, but it was funny!"
"Oh, I hope I pass this test, I hope I get into community college. I got five babies out there, and I got to support them, and I'm going wind up in jail soon, so what can I do? What can I do? I could buy the cheating pen for $6.99, and it will save me a whole lot of trouble. Say what? I didn't study. Yo, I was out drinking 40's, it don't matter."
Many of you may know about Stormin' Norman, however I think the less said about him, the better.... Andy takes an awesome swipe at him in this video, and it made me laugh so hard the first time I saw it that some Guinness came out of my nose (which really, really hurt, but kept my sinuses clear for weeks).
Sometimes Andy gets so high that he thinks he's actually Stormin' Norman...So instead of Andy's normal hilarious videos, he makes Stormin' Norman videos just like Stormin' Norman! Here is a list of stuff he brings to show 'n tell:
-A Can-Dom: a condom that you roll over your beer cans...Ooooh, that's comedy.
-A Double-Vision Eye Patch: to help you see clearly when drunk. Very impressive.
-Fart noise whistle: Very classy.
-Phony lottery tickets.
-Fit Shaced: a spin-the-wheel drinking game. Andy played this twice 'cause this was so much fun!
-Googly eyes glasses: a classic gag for total jackasses.
-Kooky glasses with a nose and moustache.
-A very thin bald cap: there's wackiness written all over this latex novelty.
-Cheater's Pen: a pen with a paper scroll inside for cheating on your court-ordered GED test at the Adult Learning Annex.
There used to be this store in this mall where I grew up. They sold novelties like these, a whole bunch of "kooky" stuff (the kind of stuff that would make an average person cringe, but make creepy mustache dudes laugh their asses off). When I was 14, some friends dared me to go in the store, rip open a pack of edible undies, and eat them in plain view of the clerk. Funny? I thought so, but the clerk banned me from the store for life.
Anyway, the moral of "Are You Stormin' Norman" is that Stormin' Norman sucks.
DISCUSS THIS ARTICLE HERE.
CHECK OUT ANDY PICS HERE.
E-MAIL ME -----SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
(by Andy Milonakis, available on angrynakedpat.com/network/icf).
Quotes:
" I gotta do a Stormin' Norman show, because I feel like I'm him and people ask me if I'm him, and I am him."
" If you wear a eye-patch, instead of seeing double, you say 'Mmm'. With out the eye-patch...Look, look, look... 'Oh, my god, that girl is soooo pretty. She's such a pretty hitty hitty city, I wants to get with her. She's so pretty. Let me make sure by putting on my double sight eye patch. Whoops, I only see one of her now, she's the ugliest person I ever seen in my life. Good thing I spent $6.99, cause I can't stands the ugly girls. Oh my god, but what if there was two of her, and they were twins, but they were really hot....Aw, never mind, this thing works.' That was fun, right guys?"
"Now I'm starting to get my hopes up, I'm praying for a better tomorrow".
"It was mean, but it was funny!"
"Oh, I hope I pass this test, I hope I get into community college. I got five babies out there, and I got to support them, and I'm going wind up in jail soon, so what can I do? What can I do? I could buy the cheating pen for $6.99, and it will save me a whole lot of trouble. Say what? I didn't study. Yo, I was out drinking 40's, it don't matter."
Many of you may know about Stormin' Norman, however I think the less said about him, the better.... Andy takes an awesome swipe at him in this video, and it made me laugh so hard the first time I saw it that some Guinness came out of my nose (which really, really hurt, but kept my sinuses clear for weeks).
Sometimes Andy gets so high that he thinks he's actually Stormin' Norman...So instead of Andy's normal hilarious videos, he makes Stormin' Norman videos just like Stormin' Norman! Here is a list of stuff he brings to show 'n tell:
-A Can-Dom: a condom that you roll over your beer cans...Ooooh, that's comedy.
-A Double-Vision Eye Patch: to help you see clearly when drunk. Very impressive.
-Fart noise whistle: Very classy.
-Phony lottery tickets.
-Fit Shaced: a spin-the-wheel drinking game. Andy played this twice 'cause this was so much fun!
-Googly eyes glasses: a classic gag for total jackasses.
-Kooky glasses with a nose and moustache.
-A very thin bald cap: there's wackiness written all over this latex novelty.
-Cheater's Pen: a pen with a paper scroll inside for cheating on your court-ordered GED test at the Adult Learning Annex.
There used to be this store in this mall where I grew up. They sold novelties like these, a whole bunch of "kooky" stuff (the kind of stuff that would make an average person cringe, but make creepy mustache dudes laugh their asses off). When I was 14, some friends dared me to go in the store, rip open a pack of edible undies, and eat them in plain view of the clerk. Funny? I thought so, but the clerk banned me from the store for life.
Anyway, the moral of "Are You Stormin' Norman" is that Stormin' Norman sucks.
DISCUSS THIS ARTICLE HERE.
CHECK OUT ANDY PICS HERE.
E-MAIL ME -----SARAHSCHICKENANDCAKE@HOTMAIL.COM
